CHICAGO. Speaking to the National Chip and Snack Food Association, President Barack Obama today warned that the nation faces a simultaneous shortage and glut of twist-ties, and promised to appoint a czar to address the problems faced by this previously-unregulated industry. “I could really go for some Cheez-Doodles right now.” “Twist ties are one of our most abundant unnatural resources, and at the same time you can never find one when you need one,” Obama said to a standing ovation

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